Don’t Make a Black Women Take off Her Earrings – Tyler Perry

Don’t Make a Black Women Take off Her Earrings – Tyler Perry

Don’t Make a Black Women Take off Her Earrings: Madea’s uninhibited commentaries on love and life – Tyler Perry

“If you can count on one thing from “Madea” Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” and “Madea’s Family Reunion”, it’s that she’s got something to say. Now the beloved, sharp tongued, pistol-packing grandmother has her own book – part memoir, many parts hard-won, hilarious, straight-up in-your-face words of wisdom.

“Every time I’m out in front of people, they ask me for advice. ‘Madea, what should I do about this? Madea, what should I do about that?’ I tell people I’ve got problems of my own, but for some reason, they keep asking and they seem like to listen to the advice that I’ve got to give.”

On sex … “Holding out will get you diamonds and furs and Cadillac’s and marriage proposals. A man likes a challenge. If you’re throwing it at him, sometimes he don’t want to catch it.”

On marriage … “I love marriage. I believe the sanctity of marriage. I believe in keeping a marriage going up until the point that it gets on your damned nerves. Then shut it down.”

On childbirth … “I’ve heard it called a beautiful, wonderful, extraordinary thing … I don’t know what the hell they were talking about.”

On health and fitness … “My personal fitness test is ‘Can I make it to the car to get to a Dunkin’ Donuts to get me a donut today?’””

Did you know Madea has a book? I didn’t! I’m so glad I read Madea’s Wikipedia and found out. This was hilarious! I’m a really big fan of Madea and Tyler Perry and I found myself laughing because I reading it in her voice which made everything funnier! This book has a lot of cussing and sexual references so I recommend the audience to be 15 and older. You won’t be disappointed. J

Rating J

~KT

Grading scale

ü Hüdfagghoutin’ – This book has got to be kidding me. Was the author high when (s) he wrote this?!? I can’t think of another word to describe this horrid piece of work other than Hüdfagghoutin’!

‽ Questlimation Mark – This book made me think “What the heck?!?” It’s not the worst thing but it’s defiantly not the best. I have no idea what the book is supposed to be telling me. I wouldn’t recommend it.

J Smiley Face – This was an awesome book. I enjoyed reading it and I would love to read it again. The story was fabulous and I’ll recommend it to people.

⓮ Fourteen – This is the highest rating I will give a book. It’s only reserved for my absolute favorite books. If it gets a Fourteen then you know you HAVE to read it. I absolutely couldn’t take my eyes off the book until it was done. I probably stayed up all night and day to finish. This is a book that I’ll be reading many times in the future. It touched my heart in a way that can only be described as magic and I fell in love with one or more of the characters. I will insist on people reading this book and hope that someday I will marry it.

Sweep Sunday -- Awakening -- Cate Tiernan

The Sweep Series – Awakening—Cate Tiernan

Since the incident Morgan’s heart isn’t the same. Will she stay heartbroken over Cal or will she warm up to Hunter? There’s dark magick brewing from a familiar face and Hunter gives Morgan something special. I liked all the books in the sweep series especially the ones with Hunter (haha) so this one is another good read. J

~KTRXS

Sweep Sunday -- Dark Magick -- Cate Tiernan

The Sweep Series – Dark Magick – Cate Tiernan

This is the book where your jaw drops because everything you ever known and felt about these characters change in a matter of a book! Woodbanes start coming to visit Selene and to see Morgan. She’s offered an opportunity and you’ll never guess what will happen if she turns it down J

Happy Sweep Sundays

~KT

Update

There haven't been many reviews lately, and this is for a fairly good, but stupid, reason. You see, I, Leah, am nit the smartest person in the world. I have done something completely stupid. Sometime last week, I was looking through some old stuff that I had lying around my room. I stumbled across a disc, which I immediately inserted into my computer without asking anyone if said disc would do any harm. As it turns out, neither technology nor Windows Vista like me very much, because now I cannot open anything on my computer. There also haven't been any YouTube videos lately, because I just haven't gotten around to doing any. My sleeping schedule is all out of whack and I just haven't been motivated to read as much. I am starting to get - I know it's a weird phrase, and I'm sorry - back in the groove of things and I hope to have things fixed soon. I am very sorry for both of these wacky situations. But I will get back to everything as soon as I can. -Leah

Sweep Sunday -- Blood Witch -- Cate Tiernan

The Sweep Series – Blood Witch – Cate Tiernan

SPOILER ALERT!

So by now you know that Morgan is a blood witch and she’s adopted. I COULDN’T WAIT TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST!

In this book you see Hunter sneaking around and then bad things happen. You get to find out why Hunter and Cal hate each other. You get to learn more about Meave and Morgan learns about scrying. Then there’s the battle of the brothers.

The Sweep Series -- The Coven -- Cate Tiernan

The Sweep Series -- The Coven -- Cate Tiernan

This is the second book and this is where Morgan’s world falls apart. Her world will always be split between before Wicca and after Wicca. She finds out more about her past that she never knew existed. In this book you also meet Hunter and Sky, foreign blood witches from England.

My favorite part of this book is when you actually meet Hunter, I’ve been hearing hype about him (thanks to Leah) and I couldn’t wait to meet him. Again this series is addressed to kids 13+ and I hate that I can’t give anything away but lots of drama, lots of lies and ties. Morgan is developing J

Sisters Red -- Jackson Pearce

Scarlett and Rosie March have spent their years hunting the Fenris - werewolves who took Scarlett's eye in a brutal attack years ago. Donning blood red cloaks and wielding deadly hatchets, the sisters kill Fenris to protect other young girls from a grisly fate. Yet even as the Fenris seem to be gaining power, Rosie dreams of a life beyond the wolves. She finds herself drawn to Silas, a young woodsman who is lethal with an ax and Scaarlett's only friend - but does loving him mean betraying her sister and all they they've worked for?
I found this book after stumbleing across Jackson Pearce's YouTube channel. Before viewing a few of her videos, I had not know that she was an author, and when I found out that she was an author I just had to pick up a copy of one of her books. So I went to Borders and picked up a copy of Sisters Red. I would give this book a 4/5, and the age group that I would give to this book would be 13+.

Sisters Red is a modern day retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, only not. In this version Little Red isn't Little Red, but Little Reds. (If you didn't catch that, there are two girls who wear red cloaks.) The Little Reds are sisters, Scarlett and Rosie March. The March sisters find out about the Fenris (werewolves) after watching both Scarlett and Oma March (The sister's grandmother) get attacked. Oma March isn't as lucky as Scarlett, who only suffers severe scarring on the right side of her face. After this horrible witnessing Scarlett and Rosie vow to save other girls from Fenris attacks, along with their childhood friend and neighbor Silas. Silas is the last son in a long line of woodsmen.

Things are going well, until Silas and Rosie find themselves wanting more than the hunt. This dream is frequently disrupted by the increasing amount of Fenris attacks, and Scarlett's inability to comprehend a life beyond the hunt and her anger at anything not hunt-related. (Which, if you ask me, is scarier than any Fenris)

I think that Pearce did an astounding job at pointing out the differences between the sisters, and then sharing the underlying similarities. I couldn't help but feel an attachment to both sisters, and I understood what each sister wanted. This was just one of the many things that drew me to this book. I loved turning the page, only to find out something new.

The only thing that I didn't like about this book was that the relationship between Silas and Rosie didn't interest me. I couldn't get attached to them as a couple and I kind of wanted Silas and Scarlett to get together, but, hey, that's what FanFiction is for, right?

City of Ashes - Cassandra Clare

This review will contain spoilers if you have not read City of Bones.

Clary Fray just wishes that he life would go back to normal. But what's normal when you're a demon-slaying Shadowhunter, your mother is in a magically induced coma and you can suddenly see Downworlders like werewolves, vampires, and faeries? Clary would love to spend more time with her best friend, Simon. But the Shadowhunters won't let her go - especially her handsome, infuriating new found brother, Jace. And Clary's only chance to help her mother is to track down rogue Shadowhunter Valentine, who is probably insane, certainly evil - and also her father. When the second of the Mortal Instruments is stolen, the terrifying Inquisitor suspects Jace. Could Jace really be willing to betray everything he believes in to help his father?

Immediately after reading City of Bones [Review] I picked up City of Ashes and completely devoured it. I give this book a 4/5, because I don't feel that it was as good as the first book, the writing seemed a bit rushed is all. The cover is astounding, and I love the contrast between the hair and the blue color in the background, not to mention that awesome swirling of silver. The age grouping that I would give this book is 13+ but, you are free to dismiss my "warning" and read this book anyway. It's not like I can (or would) stop you if you did.

 In this book you see more of Simon and Clary as their relationship grows. Clary is still trying to find herself and figure out which world she belongs in - the Shadow world or the mundane world. Throughout this book you are brought into many battles between many different Shadow persons. First, there's the whole Jace and Clary are siblings and Valentine is their father thing going on, which poses a major problem for both Jace and Clary's romantic relationship, as well as their Shadow Hunter relationship. Jace is seriously questioning who he can trust, including the Lightwoods, who are determined to give Jace a hard time about his father (Like Jace isn't beating himself up already). Then there is the whole vampires and werewolves are eternally at war with each other thing going on, which, at times, was a bit amusing.

Alec was seen more in this book, and I really enjoyed learning more about him. In City of Bones you do see some of Alec, but not as much as you see him in this book. Alec still pines for Jace, even though he knows that Jace wouldn't go for him. It tortured me to see Alec heartbroken at times, but it all worked out for him in the end. And, it was awesome. You also get to see the Lightwood family dynamic, which is pretty cool.

The only thing that I don't really feel that this book touched on was Isabelle's personal life. We learn a few things about her, but we don't really get to see who she really is. I don't know why this bugs me so much, because this book is rated 5/5, but it does. I kind of want to know who she really is and what she thinks about what's currently going on in everyone's lives. As I've said before, I felt that this book was rushed, and it didn't have as many twists as City of Bones did. I could easily figure out what was going to happen next, and I was expecting a little more from Clare. 

Blood Red Road – Moira Young

Blood Red Road – Moira Young

“Saba has spent her whole life Silverlake, a dried up wasteland ravaged by constant dust storms. That’s fine by her as long as her beloved twin brother, Lugh, is around. But when a monster sandstorm arrives bearing four cloaked horseman, Saba’s world is shattered. Lugh is captured, and Saba embarks on a quest to get him back.

Suddenly thrown into the lawless, ugly reality of the world outside, Saba is lost without Lugh to guide her. So perhaps the most surprising thing of all is what Saba learns about herself; she’s a fierce fighter, an unbeatable survivor, and a cunning opponent. Teamed up with a handsome daredevil named Jack and a gang of girl revolutionaries called The Free Hawks, Saba stages a showdown that will change the course of her own civilization.

Blood Red Road has a searing pace, a poetically minimal writing style, relentless action and an epic love story.”

I took the setting of this book to be in the future where reading is a lost art, binoculars are called long lookers, flyers (airplanes) are buried under sand and there are no calendars, only the dependence of the sky and seasons. I love the writing style of this book. It’s unique and you would think there were a lot of typos. I feel Saba’s emotions when she witnesses her father’s death, her brother’s kidnapping and the complications of falling in love. Over all it was a really awesome book. It has a couple cuss words, practically damn and bastard, so I recommend an audience 14 and up J

~KTRXS

Bestly -- Alex Flinn

A beast. Not quite wolf or gorilla or dog, but a horrible new creature with fangs, claws, and hair springing from every pore. I am a walking monster.

You think I'm talking fairy tales? No way. The place is New York City. The time is now. And I'' stay this way forever - unless I can break the spell.

Yes, the spell, the one the witch in my English class cast on me. Why did she turn me into a beast who hides by day and prowls by night? I'll tell you. I'll tell you how I used to be Kyle Kingsburry, the guy you wished you were, with money, prefect looks, the perfect girl, and the perfect life. And then, I'll tell you how I became perfectly...beastly.

It took me about a day and a half to finish this book and, I must confess that, I saw the movie when it came out before I read the book. I thought that the movie was good, even if you kind of knew what was going to happen. This book is exactly 300 pages, and those of you who know me know that I am kind of weird about numbers...I like them to be divisible by 5. So, this book was freaking awesome in that respect. I am also a Disney freak, and I pride myself on that. Disney princesses were my childhood - and they still follow me in my day-to-day life. I really feel that Alex Flinn did a marvelous job of retelling the amazing story that we all know and love, Beauty and the Beast.
The beast, in this case, is a boy named Kyle Kingsburry. Kyle has everything that a teenager could ever want. He has money, good looks, and a spacious house which he shares with his father and a housemaid named Magda. Kyle's father is a popular news anchor and is emotionally detached from Kyle. Magda is Kyle's maid, she's nice and doesn't speak English that well - something that Kyle uses against her. Kyle thinks that his life is perfect. He has a beautiful girlfriend and he rules his school. Then things start to change for Kyle and he meets a witch, who changes him into the beast that he really is.

Lindy lives a broken life. Her mother is out of the picture and her father is too addicted to drugs to care for and take care of her. Lindy finds her escape in books and school work. She has always had a crush on Kyle Kingsburry, but is too shy to tell him. When Kyle goes to boarding school, she - along with the other class members - forgetts about him and, returns to her normal life.

When I first picked up this book, I honestly didn't know what to expect. I knew that it was going to be a modern retelling of Beauty and the Best, but I wasn't quite sure how it was going to be told - if it was going to be modern, if the names were going to be the same, etc. I was kind of hoping for a Gaston character, and I think that this book would have been a little more like Beauty and the Beast if a character like Gaston was created. Even though this didn't happen, Flinn did an AWESOME job of retelling Beauty and the Beast. I give this book a 4/5, because although it was thuroughly intriguing, I found myself getting bored in some parts and I would have liked to know what happened to Lindy's father in the end. Lindy's father isn't talked about much in this book, but he is still a big part of who Lindy is. So, it would have been nice to know what happened to him afterwards.

Read on!
-Leah

The Better World Shopping Guide -- Ellis Jones

The Better World Shopping Guide: Every Dollar Makes A Difference

A small book like this deserves a small review. This mini book is a shopping guide to sort out companies into grade levels, A to F, depending on where they stand on the issue of environmental sustainability.

I like this book because its tiny, pocketsized, and its separated into different catergories like coffee, tea, retail, cars, beauty care, etc. J

~Kay